Google CEO Sundar Pichai will reportedly affirm before Congress in Washington DC next week. Finally, the GOP will get to ask all the stupid questions accompanying to President Trump’s cabal theory that Search is biased adjoin conservatives.

The broke the agitative news yesterday: at least three sources close to the matter accept Pichai will absolutely show up this time. And, if he does, it’ll absolutely be a jolly medley of dumb, dumber, and dumber-er.

Dumb

People who accept that Google secretly buries “good” news belief about Trump and other self-proclaimed “conservatives,” can rest assured GOP associates of the House Judiciary board won’t miss the befalling to explain to Pichai how algorithms and search engines work.

Luckily, the GOP has a habit of putting abstruse nonsense aside and acid beeline through to the heart of the matter. We’re admiration addition in Congress will lean advanced and look Pichai in his eyes — the only GOP-endorsed way to actuate if addition is lying — and ask if Google has ever been biased adjoin conservatives.

For his part, we expect Pichai to say “we don’t do that at Google.”

We’ve accomplished out to Google for acceptance and, in lieu of that, we hope to have reporters continuing by on Capitol Hill (we won’t, but that won’t stop us from hoping) just in case Pichai breaks out into an impish grin and pulls off his mask absolute he was Hillary Clinton the entire time.

Dumber

Congress is sure to ask Pichai about the 2015 Google glitch the aggregation failed to acknowledgment to the half a actor users whose claimed data was exposed. Luckily for Pichai, who was apparently just busy and forgot to bring it up, the apparent the botheration for him.

A trio of US Senators then sent a letter to Google asking it to explain why it waited to acknowledge the glitch, basically accusing the aggregation of attempting to cover it up in hopes of alienated regulation.

But, Google’s since maintained that the glitch was no big deal. Just because data was apparent doesn’t mean annihilation bad absolutely happened. Where did everyone’s optimism go?

And, even dumber (but not yet dumberer) is the huge beating over Activity Maven that played out this year. Pichai somehow okayed a arrangement to advance AI for the Pentagon, then started walking the aggregation commitments back when employees, activists, and journalists began accusing the aggregation of abandoning its founders’ principles.

Eventually Google chose not to pursue added affairs with the Pentagon. Well, more accurately, Google chose not to pursue added affairs with the Pentagon called Activity Maven.

Because it was among the first to bid for Activity JEDI, a cloud-based accretion belvedere for the Pentagon, but bound withdrew its bid citing aggregation ethics (after acquirements the game was rigged).

However, if there’s one thing we can be sure of: Congress isn’t going to bring up any aggressive projects while it’s analytic Pichai. It’d be pretty alarming if Pichai did though. He won’t.

Dumberer

Congress will, however, absolutely spend some time on Activity Dragonfly.

After rumors broadcast beforehand this year – rumors the company, at one point, denied – that Google was alive on a censored Search engine for China, Vice President Pence took a claimed absorption in asking the aggregation to stop.

So, of course, Pichai did the exact opposite. He’s gone so far as to defend the project, with what appears to be an attempt to gaslight the world into cerebration censoring the internet isn’t so bad, and that Google has an obligation to enter China whether through free speech or oppression.

Pichai told :

We are accountable by our mission [to] accommodate advice to everyone, and [China is] 20 percent of the world’s population.

Amnesty all-embracing has a altered take on what Google is doing:

Dumbererest

Sadly, the dumbest (dumberest? dumbererest?) part about all of this is that the bogeyman of bias adjoin conservatives is what appears to have been the agitator for this affair with Congress. And, putting aside any abstract views on the matter, we should all be able to agree Pichai isn’t going to claim Google has any bias, and Congress won’t accept his explanations apropos how algorithms work anyway.

Pichai also agreed to speak with President Donald Trump in a round table affair with other officials. This was when he initially adumbrated he’d attend a House Judiciary audition after the midterm elections back in September.

We haven’t been able to affirm such a affair will take place yet. But it’s a safe bet that when Mr. Pichai goes to Washington he’ll end up accepting any allurement to sit with the President.

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