If you looked past the VR overload, there were a ton of absolutely alien articles being featured on the floor at SXSW. So many, that we absitively to make a assembly of the weirdest, craziest shit we could find for y’all to enjoy. So enjoy.

BelliesWave

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To be fair, the lady continuing next to these amputated frog necks told me this was just an art installation, but she was assertive it would be “the affectation of the future.” “Normal displays don’t offer touch, they don’t offer haptic acknowledgment or lots of other information,” she told me. When I asked her what it could be used for in the future, she said “walls” and left it at that. Now, I’d love to have a ballooning frog neck wall in my home, but I somehow doubt the applied use of it, except as article to talk about with boring guests.

move

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“What if things in your daily life are moving? Your accustomed life should become a more appropriate one.” Thus opens the description of one of the more exotic articles at SXSW – which somehow seem to arise alone from Japan. The move are clothes hangers with a built in motor, that “just keeps away when article approaches after touching. … We accept it gives a new value to accouterment experience.” An annoying experience, though. Imagine having to chase your clothes around the closet with a hangover.

fairy720

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This artefact absolutely does make sense, it just looks a bit silly. The fairy720 works like those flying cameras in stadiums; it’s absorbed to wires from the corners of a room and follows you around. Because it’s blind around near your face, you can do “a whisper-talk, a bee dance, and animadversion face for alarm.” I’ll construe that for you: it’s basically an Echo or Assistant type artefact you can talk to after having to yell because it’s nearby. The only check is that you’ll have wires blind around in your house. The artefact is currently advancing for crowdfunding.

Shiseido Telebeauty

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Japanese cosmetics aggregation Shiseido have come up with the absolute band-aid for women in early morning meetings: a Skype-based app that paints agenda composition on a woman’s face so she doesn’t have to bother. It feels vaguely presumptuous, implying that a women with the sort of job that requires early morning business calls is also the sort who needs to be made up to take those calls. That being said, if you do prefer to be seen when you look able and fabricated before you accept a video call, then the Telebeauty app will apply “makeup” which matches your skin tone, on a spectrum from accustomed to trendy (red lips and thick mascara).

Bevi

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The Bevi is a smart water cooler. You can get your beverages still or sparkling (bubbly), with a array of (if I’m being honest) gross-sounding flavors like “unsweetened lime mint.” The Bevi spokespeople talked about having it in an office setting, which sounds like a quick way to breed bone amidst your employees. It’s a cool device, but it looks and behaves almost absolutely like those touchscreen drink dispensers you can find in many fast food restaurants.

Neko Electro

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Do you suffer from bad posture? Have hours sitting on the computer curved your spine forward? Neko Electro is a chaplet advised to help actual bad aspect by cavernous on your head when your spine bends too much. This would be absorbing enough, but the chaplet looks like a pair of fluffy cat ears. Why does it look like cat ears? Who cares?! I would appropriately advance to be the most cocked cat in the world.

Fujitsu Connected Shoes

 

We covered these yesterday, but I’m more than happy to weigh in again on how weird they are. It’s the same old story, we hype a artefact to the point of mass appeal, and then try to spread that mass appeal to aggregate else. Case in point, refrigerators you can tweet from. Do we need this? Of course not.

These shoes do have application, but its mostly in labs to test new shoes, or conceivably in very specific subsets of people — like those active the Boston Marathon. In accepted though, I don’t know that most of us need sensors that admeasurement clamminess and tilt angle, or Bluetooth — abnormally after a badass apostle built in. Or, maybe Fujitsu should just skip the lab entirely, add some aflame LEDs, and say “fuck it” while absolution the chips fall where they may.

Who am I to judge?

Oliso Pro Smart Iron

I don’t even know how to talk about this thing; it’s a fucking smart iron. Seriously. Smart irons are a thing now. Your bed-making boards? Still dumb, but you have a smart iron now so quit complaining. I’d assume this thing irons the wrinkles out of your SpongeBob pajama pants in a way that’s far above to non-connected irons and costs about three-times as much. It’s a beast of a calm tool that applies steam automatically, and raises and lowers itself off your accouterment to make you feel like a real baller when you demo this thing to your friends.